Love and Loss and Love Again

Originally published at AnneHeffron.com. I wrote this piece one year ago, my first go at writing about my life as a double-adoptee, and it remains a favorite. Enjoy!

I was relinquished and placed for adoption when I was nine years old. My adopters’ names were listed as my parents on my birth certificate, they gave me a new name, and no one I previously knew as family could legally have contact with me. I was received by my adopters as if I were a blank slate, with no history of my own.

But that’s not where this story begins. Let me try again.

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Birthright

The lie of adoption as I’ve lived it—that I can be compelled to call strangers mother and father and family, strangers who can dispose of me, “rehome” me when I cease to please them or serve their needs; that I exist as part of other people’s stories while robbed of a story and agency of my own—grips my heart, presses upon my chest like a fist. I struggle to breathe against its weight. I feel helpless, frozen, as the lie chokes the light from my body, severing my life into unrelated fragments.

Continue reading “Birthright”